Sometimes your cat just isn’t enough, and you need an adult.
I tried to make Manwich so it would be ready when Joe got home, I almost failed.
Before I tell you about my failure, I must tell you about Manwich.
First of all, a can of Manwich is vegetarian. Read the ingredients, no meat son.
Now, get yourself some Morning Star veggie crumbles. Or any ground beef meat subsitute will do.
In 10 minutes tops, you will have yourself a delicious sloppy joe. (Not to be confused with my Joe, he’s not getting sloppy)
Start the veggie crumbles heating up in a pan for a few minutes.
Meanwhile, open your can of Manwich. That is, if you can. You might need an adult if your can opener breaks apart in your hands.
If there is no adult around, ask your cat to help. Though they will probably respond by saying they have no thumbs and cannot be of service. Or they will just stare at you in disbelief making you feel even worse about yourself than you already do in that moment. If they do actually respond to you with words, go see a doctor, stat.
If you can’t put your can opener back together, try openng it with a knife, or scissors, or a fork, or your own hands. Don’t cut yourself.
By this time, your veggie crumbles are probably heated up enough and are ready for their sloppy toppings. Go ahead and shake the can vigorously over top of the veggie crumbles, it will slowly ooze out of the little holes you have created with your can opening devices. A few hours later, the can should be empty.
Now you can stir that bad boy around for a few minutes.
As soon as it’s finished, an adult will walk through the door. Had they arrived a few moments earlier, they could have helped you to open the can the right way. But hey, who needs ’em! I got the job done!
Vegetarian Manwich is delicious and simple, don’t knock it until you try it.
(There was no cursing in the making of this dinner)