Here is a true failure for ya.
My friend Brea sent me this recipe for broccoli and cheese stuffed chicken, the concept sounded simple.
I started reading the recipe and it says some crazy nonsense about doing art with your cheese. I do not feel like cutting it up into triangles and trapizoids, I just want to eat it!
I decided that I would just stick a chunk of cheese and piece of broccoli and roll that bitch up… Sweet, chicken isn’t long enough to roll up. The recipe also said something about toothpicks to hold it all together, but I am not down with getting a splinter in my food.
I decided to just lay the chicken out, stick some cheese and a piece of broccoli on top and see what happens. Great, now my pan is too small and i have to dirty another one, I hate when this happens!
Brea called me and suggested that I use a meat tenderizer to beat my meat with in order to make the pieces longer. But I have no such tool, maybe someone wants to buy me one? While on the phone with Brea, Joe starts yelling to me that the water for the potatoes keeps boiling over. We just moved and are using a cooktop now, which we need to get used to using apparently.
Next comes the great debate of bread crumbs:
- The directions say for frying so Joe thinks I can’t use them for baking, but I’ve seen people use these!
- I read the directions and notice there is a section title FOR BAKING!
- It says I need an egg or milk… I have no eggs and we discuss that a milk would be too thin
- Good thing I have Brea to tell me to use olive oil!
- Whoops, I spilled it all over the pan like no body’s business.
In the mean time, I need to cook the rest of this bag of broccoli, but it is one of those steam in bag things and it says not to puncture bag before putting into microwave. I was about to ignore it and stick it in the microwave, when Joe decided to read the rest of the directions. Oh look at that, you can actually eat it raw or steam on the stove. Let’s steam this bitch! mmmmmmm! (Lesson learned: we never read ALL of the directions!)
Ok guys, prepare yourselves… This shit was so delicious! Here I thought I was using pepper jack cheese when it turns out it was jalapeño and Cayenne pepper. Thanks for tricking me, Joe. But it was nice because the taste from the cheese spread over everything. Accidental cheese is yummy. It’s great that what started out looking like a disaster, turned out to be really good! And easy too 😉
Funny though because this picture makes it look real gross:
Dozey is enjoying her new counter top, ya;ll: