My pizza’s name is Earl

Before I begin, you must know that I am sad. Our dinner TV show has been My Name is Earl and we have come to the end, done with all the episodes. I really enjoyed watching Earl and Randy. Their shenanigans remind me of my cooking. So this post is dedicated to Earl.

There is this delicious pizza joint right outside of my living quarters called Pasta Mista. They are great because they get creative with their pizza. Spaghetti pizza is an all time fav. I was looking around the kitchen to see what sort of ingredients I could throw onto my pizza and it hit me – ZITI PIZZA! Genuis right here. I had wanted to make a pizza after my step mom telling me about Naan that she got from Wegmans. (I still don’t know how to say “Naan” correctly)

Alright, let’s gather our shit:

Google: First you need to google how to make a pizza. Everyone on the internet seems to think I am using legit pizza dough and they want me to preheat the oven to something like 550. That sounds like I’m going to burn my house down. I think I’ll go with the directions on the Naan packaging. Which was something like 350.

Naan: Now put that shit on a cookie sheet.


Ragu Pizza Sauce: Because you are a child. Now spread that shit.


ADD Moment: Look at the directions they put on this jar for kids. “Heat it up til it’s hot” – this is what I am talking about party people. What does that even mean?! If I were a kid, and I practically am, I would throw that shit in the oven at the highest temperature for about an hour because that is my idea of “heated up”. Can I get some specifics, people of the directions world?


Mozzarella Cheese: I mean, what else?


Noodles: Shit, you already messed up. How am I going to get the noodles UNDER the cheese? I sort of attempted to scoop it up and recover it. Whatever, it works, don’t judge me bro. Also, shut up that I am using Rotini noodles and not Ziti noodles which I guess is actually Penne. A noodle is a noodle, it stresses me out that we need to define each noodle. They all taste the same! I also suggest you cook these noodles (by cook I mean boil on the stove like you normally would by following the directions on the box) before you apply them to your pizza.

Spinach: Just toss it on top, I’m not really sure what else to do here.


Oven: Stick it and wait. Don’t wait too long, or too short. I waited too short. About 7 minutes.

But oh muh lawd this was delicious…


The cats were pissed that they couldn’t have any, but at least they had fun watching:


3 thoughts on “My pizza’s name is Earl

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