Shit People Say About Breakfast Potatoes

Breakfast, potatoes, Joe Red, and Jackie – 4 of my favorite things.

We picked up these adorable little potatoes from Trader Joes and I said – these would be perfect for breakfast, let’s fry ’em up! Then I thought, what does that even mean? I have no clue how to “fry ’em up”.

My friend Jackie just got engaged and I believe that Roo proposed to her simply because she has been making him delicious meals for 10 years. (kidding, dudes). So I decided that I needed to enlist her help while I “fried up” these adorable little potatoes. While I’m texting her one Saturday morning about my potatoes, she tells me she is doing the exact same thing… only she’s also got crazy breakfast sandwiches going on. (Geeze, I am not up to par with this one. How will I ever get a husband!)

I take these potatoes, cut them in half (hey, they’re already small, I shouldn’t have to do much cutting!) throw ’em in the frying pan, add some salt and pepper and push those little fuckers around town with my manly ass spatula. Some of them are turning brown, some of them are not. The interwebz said about 20 minutes…but hell this has only taken me about 10! I try to cut one in half with a SPOON and it doesn’t work so I’m like shit these can’t be done, but they’re brown?! (Apparently you shouldn’t be able to cut them with a spoon like I thought…my brain was in mashed potato land, wrong potato land!)

When they’re just about done, I take one to Joe who is still in bed. “Hey babe, I brought you a potato in bed”…

Then we enjoyed our potatoes…oh and eggs too.

The following Saturday, it is potato breakfast take 2. This time Joe has purchased some hash browns in a bag, the frozen type. I let him handle this one, I stood back, and this is what I overheard…

“I need to wear the biggest clothes possible so I don’t light myself on fire”

“Vegetable oil or olive oil? Vegetable oil or olive oil? Vegetable oil or olive oil? Vegetable oil or olive oil? We don’t have vegetable oil…so use olive oil…but…”

“Can you Google the combustion of olive oil?”

I don’t know what happened in that kitchen. All I know is that it tasted damn good.

I guess we will count these potato adventures as mediocre successes and not complete failures!

Lessons learned: Cut potatoes smaller. Olive oil will not set the kitchen on fire. Frozen bag of hash browns are delicious. My meals are not delicious enough to get a husband. Learn from Jackie.

Look ma, no paws:

3 thoughts on “Shit People Say About Breakfast Potatoes

  1. laurie A says:

    The best way to make breakfast potatoes is to cut them up, boil them first until they’re starting to get soft – strain & then fry in a pan w/ 2 tbsp butter & 2 tbsp of olive oil. Another alternative – coat with oil, salt, pepper, put on a baking sheet and bake for 35 min. PERFECTION!

  2. Suzz says:

    Although I, in general, feel that cooking potatoes are high maitenance, I really, really like red roasted potatoes – similar to what you have here, Jess.

    What I do is cut the baby pots into halves or quarters (depending on how big they are) … boil them in heavily salted water for a few minutes and then roast them in a roasting – or cake! – pan in the oven with some Canola oil at 400 degrees. If possible, you want to heat the oil in the oven first – this keeps the pots from absorbing (as much of) the oil and eliminating (some of) the fat and calories.

    If you “gouge” the potatoe halves/quarters with a fork, the surface will become “rugged” and brown/crisp really well in the oven. Ideally, you want to turn them halfway through roasting (approximately 15 minutes on each side for a total of 30 minutes) … but this isn’t totally necessary. PS I like to dip them in Ranch dressing – something I know you’ll pass on 🙂

    Keep up the good work!

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