Breakfast, potatoes, Joe Red, and Jackie – 4 of my favorite things.
We picked up these adorable little potatoes from Trader Joes and I said – these would be perfect for breakfast, let’s fry ’em up! Then I thought, what does that even mean? I have no clue how to “fry ’em up”.
My friend Jackie just got engaged and I believe that Roo proposed to her simply because she has been making him delicious meals for 10 years. (kidding, dudes). So I decided that I needed to enlist her help while I “fried up” these adorable little potatoes. While I’m texting her one Saturday morning about my potatoes, she tells me she is doing the exact same thing… only she’s also got crazy breakfast sandwiches going on. (Geeze, I am not up to par with this one. How will I ever get a husband!)
I take these potatoes, cut them in half (hey, they’re already small, I shouldn’t have to do much cutting!) throw ’em in the frying pan, add some salt and pepper and push those little fuckers around town with my manly ass spatula. Some of them are turning brown, some of them are not. The interwebz said about 20 minutes…but hell this has only taken me about 10! I try to cut one in half with a SPOON and it doesn’t work so I’m like shit these can’t be done, but they’re brown?! (Apparently you shouldn’t be able to cut them with a spoon like I thought…my brain was in mashed potato land, wrong potato land!)
When they’re just about done, I take one to Joe who is still in bed. “Hey babe, I brought you a potato in bed”…
Then we enjoyed our potatoes…oh and eggs too.
The following Saturday, it is potato breakfast take 2. This time Joe has purchased some hash browns in a bag, the frozen type. I let him handle this one, I stood back, and this is what I overheard…
“I need to wear the biggest clothes possible so I don’t light myself on fire”
“Vegetable oil or olive oil? Vegetable oil or olive oil? Vegetable oil or olive oil? Vegetable oil or olive oil? We don’t have vegetable oil…so use olive oil…but…”
“Can you Google the combustion of olive oil?”
I don’t know what happened in that kitchen. All I know is that it tasted damn good.
I guess we will count these potato adventures as mediocre successes and not complete failures!
Lessons learned: Cut potatoes smaller. Olive oil will not set the kitchen on fire. Frozen bag of hash browns are delicious. My meals are not delicious enough to get a husband. Learn from Jackie.
Look ma, no paws: