The Internet Failed Me #1

In this day and age, the Internet (did you know you’re supposed to capitalize the I in Internet? crazy!) can be such a great place. You can find just about anything, why ask people questions when you can just Google it? But, the Internet always fails me in my cooking adventures. That was another option for the title of this blog – The Internet Failed Me dot com.

Let me tell you how the internet failed me in making French Toast.

1. This is the first problem I saw: Dip the bread slices into the mixture you’ve made in the bowl

I understand that people have been making french toast for a bajillion years now by dipping the bread into the bowl, but why did no one notice that bread is SQUARE and a bowl is ROUND?! This boggles my mind. It’s like that game you played when you were little with the wood blocks, trying to fit the right shapes into the right holes. You would bang and bang the circle onto the octagon shape swearing that it should work! But even a child wouldn’t make this mistake, a square into a circle, really?! This idea is SO flawed.

How I messed it up (because a square doesn’t fit into a circle) – The first part of the bread that gets dipped in is super soggy, I flip it over and that side gets covered with the mixture at just the right amount. So I think “Yes! I did it!” Nope, what about the middle of the bread that didn’t even touch the mixture because it’s a damn bowl and this is a damn piece of bread! Another mishap was that the bread got so soggy on the one side, that it just fell apart! (It also doesn’t help that I’m using Target brand bread…)


2. Second problem: Fry the soaked bread on one side until golden brown, then turn and fry other side until browned. Or use a nonstick pan, or add the butter in a frying pan ordinary, to avoid the French toast stick to the pan.

There is so many things wrong with this piece of direction.

a.) I can’t see the side that is face down, so how do I know when it is golden brown? This step was the SAME on every website I looked at, no one wanted to give a time limit. Not even a ball park estimate. Really people?

b.) If I use a nonstick pan, do I still use butter? And wtf does “ordinary” mean in this sentence? I blame the brits. Well, I used the nonstick pan AND butter and guess what people? It was still sticking.

3. What about the temperature on the stove? Low heat? Medium? High? Come on people, details!

How I messed it up – Each piece was cooked differently. Mostly wasn’t cooked long enough, fell apart, stuck to the pan… I tried different heats on the stove, didn’t change much. In the end it tasted like toast with a dash of cinnamon. Some spots tasted like straight up egg and I was worried I was going to die of the plague.

Really, Internet? Help a girl out!

You know what is a way better idea then making French Toast? Going to Denny’s and getting a bangin’ breakfast for $5.99. Although my cat did not enjoy this sausage:

6 thoughts on “The Internet Failed Me #1

  1. Mom says:

    You make me laugh so hard!!! First of all get a bowl that is bigger than the piece of square bread silly and deeper than the bread. You don’t need to flip it, just take a fork and push it down in the bowl. You could also use your flipper to take the bread out of the bowl. The oven should not be on high, low to med is good. You can flip the bread more than once to cook both sides. Make sure the pan is heated before you put the bread in it. To test it, put a few drops of water in the pan and it will sizzle when hot. You can add butter to stick and non stick pans. Just flip and not sit!!!!

  2. My advice: use your hands. for everything. you have so much more control like that.

    Worry about the burns later, or wear them proudly, as battle wounds.

  3. My Advice: use your hands. for everything. you have so much more control that way.

    Worry about the burns later. Or wear them proudly, as battle wounds.

  4. Suzz says:

    I agree about the “round bottomed” bowls — strangely, I found flat bottomed bowls that work perfectly for making french toast, among other things.

    As for the browning – I agree this can be tricky. I usually “time” the first piece and then base the rest of the batch on that.

    As for heat … always start with “medium high.” You can easily go up or down from there.

    Finally, I agree with Steph – let’s go to the Blue Moon Cafe for the Captain Crunch French Toast!!!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s